best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
