I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
