my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
