He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
