Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
