For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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