The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
