hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
