You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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