Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
