i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
