We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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