its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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