tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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