yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
