Having a random hookup so left but love u
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
