I'm jealous of your bromance
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
