its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
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It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
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jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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