Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
