i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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