the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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