He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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