Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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