i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
