Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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