She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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