I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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