happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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