So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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