i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
