Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
