we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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