When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
