I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
