can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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