What did we do last night that was yellow?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
