Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
