Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
not ubering you a puppy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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