Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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