He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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