im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
