Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize