Everything about him screamed your future.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
