I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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