38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
