I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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