I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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