you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
