I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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