There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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