So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
