I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still dying that you shit outside
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
