i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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