What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
These tits shall not be calmed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
