He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
