And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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