I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
