I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
