I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
